


A Parental Guide

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drama, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-11-25
Updated: 2006-11-25
Packaged: 2019-01-19 02:43:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12401424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: A SB/OC story. Rosa is new to Hogwarts. She hates Sirius. What happens when she has to be married to him?





	A Parental Guide

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

  


A Parental Guide

By Miss Willow  
A.k.a  


xXxFluffy-Pink-Socks

  
**  
****Summary:**  Rosa is a reluctant Hogwarts student, new to the school and to England. Rivalries, friendship and lust ensue. A story about cross-dressing brothers, insane ministry projects, deliciously tempting boys and baby eating hippogriffs. Please R&R!  
   
  


**  
** -x-  
 **  
** “Rise and shine!” ****  
  
Rosa opened a single eye; long enough to look blearily around the room to make sure that no one of particular importance was there, before closing it again. The effort it took to open her eye had definitely destroyed any plans she could have had on getting up in the morning.

She didn’t need to look to know that Brendan would be bouncing around her room in his usual, annoying, chirpy mood and making a nuisance of himself as he hummed loudly and moved all her possessions that were within reach. The small _zzzz_ of a zip being pulled also told Rosa that her brother had no progressed out the important task of rummaging through her make-up bag, in search of anything that he wouldn’t mind wearing for the first hour of the day.

 

Something hard whacked against the side of her head and Rosa groaned, squinting her eyes further closed and growling silently under her breath. A warning sign that was meant to tell her brother that he should stop squirting her most expensive perfume out of the window and back away slowly. Back away until he was right out of her bedroom. Brendan, unsurprisingly, didn’t seem to get the picture. “Oi! Sleeping Beauty!”  
   
God, she loathed that nickname. Rosa kept her eyes closed and began to feel around for the book that her loving brother had thrown at her.  
   
“Oh, she’s forgotten…”

 

Her hand froze above the book; one _Pride and Prejudice,_ she noted as her eyes snapped open. She turned to face Brendan with narrowed eyes. She knew her brother well enough to know that he never could say things simply. The meaning short and snappy had obviously never entered his limited vocabulary and she doubted whether he had ever said anything in brief. Everything had to be one long drama.  
 **  
**”No she can’t have!”  
   
Rosa sighed, knowing Brendan’s games too well. Memories of the time when Brendan had ‘borrowed’ her favourite skirt and ‘accidentally’ stained it sprung to mind and she cringed as she remembered how her brother had decided not to tell her straight out but instead launched into a 30 minute lecture on how accidents were prone to happen to everyone and that it was just one of those things; why only the other day he’d walked in on a man buttering his trouser leg and not the slice of toast that was on his plate. Rosa didn’t need to ask to know that the man her brother was referring to was their father; he was as clumsy as Brendan was dramatic. ****

****  


”Surely not! Rosy wouldn’t forget that today was her first day at her new school, would she?”

   
Who needed a cold shower to wake you up when you could have your older brother remind you of something that you would have imagined unforgettable? Rosa pulled herself into a sitting position, now wide-awake.  
   
“So you did forget?” **  
**  
”BRENDAN GET OUT OF MY ROOM!” ****

****”You mean, now?”

”No next year, yes now!” **  
**-x-  
 **  
** “Oh you’re going to love Hogwarts!” Brendan exclaimed, as he dragged Rosa through the crowds of people at King’s Cross. She rolled her eyes, somehow doubting the truth in this comment, and craned her neck back over the crowd in search of the mother they’d lost to the busy train station some minutes ago. No sign of her. Rosa sighed; there would be no escaping Brendan not only on the train but at this Hogwarts place too.  
   
“Where’s mum? **”** She turned to her brother with an expectant look. He was past listening though and seemed to have forgotten her presence as he babbled on and on about how great Hogwarts was, with its spectacular great hall, delicious food, joyful spirits, friendly students… Rosa was already sick to the stomach of the school and she wasn’t even there yet!  
   
To her annoyance, Brendan still had his arm linked through hers and was now pulling her along a different platform, which was even more crowded than the one before. Finally he stopped and, to her relief, let go of her arm.  
   
“Sooo… what do you think?” **  
** **  
** Rosa fought hard to keep the frown off of her face, her brown eyes scanning the unfamiliar faces of the Hogwarts students with uncertainty. What could she say?

”It’s wonderful!” **  
** **  
** The stupid smile on Brendan’s face told her he hadn’t caught onto the fact that she was beginning to dislike his school and the very idea of it more and more as each second passed.  
   
Luckily, she was saved from saying anything further when her mother appeared behind them, clutching a ridiculous number of shopping bags in her hands and also wearing a huge grin. It seemed she too was in on the persuading-Rosa-to-like-her-new-school mission and took pleasure in pointing out anything and everything that might ‘interest’ her daughter.  
   
Their discussion about Hogwarts, or rather Brendan and her mother’s discussion, some how managed to move onto the story of the world’s most wonderful fairytale romance a.k.a. her parents meeting each other, falling in love, getting married and being blessed with two miracle children. Her mother often got carried away in the telling of the story and Rosa hadn’t a clue how her parents had _really_ met but she could guess that it would have been incredibly boring without her mother’s charm for story-telling.

”He was so handsome… a sex god some called him. The first time I saw him I wanted to ravish him in the corridor there and then—“

”MUM!” her two children shouted angrily, looks of disgust on their faces.  
   
“Mum, can we just get on the train? Please!” Rosa complained, angrily glaring at her mother, who stopped her rambling and observed her with an even expression.  
   
”You will like it, Rosa-Marie.”Rosa opened her mouth to interrupt but her mother pressed on, not giving her the chance, “I know you don’t think so at the moment but believe me, when you arrive and you make friends, everything will be a lot better.”  
   
“Easy for you to say,” she murmured. Thankfully neither her mother nor brother heard and after a reluctantly letting her mother give her a quick kiss goodbye, she grabbed her trunk and climbed onto the train, knowing that Brendan wouldn’t be far behind her.  
-x-  
   
They found an empty compartment without too much bother, the only slight problem being the amount of times they were stopped by other students, all claiming to be friends of Brendan and all wanting to know who his ‘girlfriend’ was. The first time it was funny, well, within reason, the second time still not too bothering but when it got to the fourth time, Rosa began to lose sight of the humour involved and instead began to think of horrific ways in which those people could die long and painful deaths. After all, there’s only so many times one can stand being associated with their brother in a romantic sense.  
   
Especially as only some one as thick as a plank would be able to mistake Brendan for a straight guy, what with the black eyeliner that rimmed his blue eyes and the lip-gloss tube that he carried around in his school bag. Oh and then there was his high, girlish shriek of a voice… none of this particularly bothered Rosa; Brendan was his own person and if he wanted to be open about his sexuality then she was fine with that. However, some people didn’t agree with her. According to Brendan, anyway. One boy in particular apparently… Sirius something-or-other…  
   
“Fizzing Whizzbee?” The packet of sweets was thrust under her nose and Rosa raised an eyebrow at Brendan. Since when was he so kind and generous… deciding that it wasn’t the time to wonder but instead take advantage, Rosa helped herself to several of the multi-coloured sweets. Brendan snatched the packet back, his goodwill obviously gone, and emptied the rest of the packet into his mouth.  
   
“Tell me more about the houses,” Rosa requested, curling her legs beneath her on the seat and tilting her head against the window. Her brother’s face lit up at the mention of his beloved Hogwarts and he was only too happy to explain.

”Well, first there’s Ravenclaw—“

”Your house.”

”The best house.”

”So what qualities must you have to get in there apart from the obvious necessity of being a cross-dressing gay?”  
   
“Haha. No, they’re the clever ones. You know, knowledge is the key and all that crap…”

”As there’s no chance of me getting into that house, let’s move onto the next.”

”Yes, I quite agree. Erm… next there’s Gryffindor. They’re the brave ones.”

”Brave? They actually have a house for _the brave_?”

”Yep. Then there’s Hufflepuff. They’re the loyal and the just ones a.k.a. the wimps and then… then there’s Slytherin.”

Rosa was surprised when Brendan stopped short. He busied himself by unwrapping a chocolate frog that he’d nicked from her school bag, leaving her to dwell in her own curiosity for a few minutes. Why wasn’t he continuing? “What about Skitherin?”

”Slytherin actually.”

She waved this correction aside and shrugged impatiently, “Who cares which; why did you stop at that point?”

”Well I don’t exactly want to consider having a sister who’s in Slytherin.”

”Why not?”

”They’re the evil ones. Doomed to get involved in dark magic, break the law, lead sad and miserable lives and end up in Azkaban, left to die in bitterness. If I let myself I can sometimes feel sorry for them… must be hard having the whole evil stereotype especially as they’re all inbred, you know, with their parents being like siblings.”  
   
“Nice.”

”Yep.”

Looking out the window was a pointless thing to do; Rosa knew this as she had tried on various other train journeys to do so but the compartment had fallen into an awkward silence and she couldn’t bear just sitting there and doing nothing, fully aware that Brendan was watching her. A dark, hazy blur was all that could be seen through the fogged up window but Rosa could tell that they were passing by a large wood or forest.  “What house do you think I belong in?”  
   
Her brother looked up at her and raised his eyebrows. “My personal opinion?”

”Yeah.”

”Hufflepuff.”  
   
Rosa threw her chocolate frog at him. It missed his head by inches, luckily for Brendan. “NOT funny!”  
   
-x-  
   
AN: So, what do you think? Please R&R! Constructive criticism is wanted! I may take a while to update this story but that’s simply because my muse keeps hiding but I promise I won’t abandon this!  



End file.
